Hungover
by Lavis.LOve
Summary: Lenalee is getting married to Allen and Lavi never got to tell her how he felt about her quite yet. Lavi is OOC and it totally makes sense. TEAR JERKER WARNING! T for language and depression. One-shot  PLEASE REVIEW!


_**Hey, it's been awhile since I wrote an angst-y T rated story. Enjoy!**_

_**I do not own D. Gray-Man nor Ke$ha's " **__Hungover__**".**_

I had loved her for years, but I never got even close to have her as mine. Allen took her for himself. She became his lover but I became her best friend. But what killed me from the inside out was that Lenalee told me she was getting married to Allen Walker…Lenalee Walker…

_**And the now the sun is rising**_

_**And now the long walk back home…**_

_**Back home **_

_**There's just so many faces**_

_**But no one I need to know, need to know**_

"Lenalee…why are you marrying him?" I asked her, slightly outraged. I got up from my desk and pinned her to the wall of the library where I was recording secret history.

"Lavi? What is wrong with you? What do you have against my marriage to Allen?" she asked angrily. Her eyes said everything. She didn't feel the same as I felt for her.

_**In the dark I can't fight it, I'll fake it 'till I'm numb**_

_**But in the bright light I taste you on my tongue**_

"Damn it, Lena…I love you…so damned much," I choked out. It was finally off my chest. I pulled her closely to my body and I kissed her with all the love I had in me.

"L-Lavi! Get off of me!" Lenalee cried while I smothered her desperate pleas of freedom and mercy.

_**Now the party's over and everybody's gone**_

_**I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong**_

_**And now my heart is broken like the bottles on the floor**_

_**Does it really matter or am I just hungover you?**_

_**Or am I just hungover**_

I was shattered by Lenalee's attempts to release her from my grip. I knew I was crossing HUGE boundaries. One of those lines being a Bookman boundary and a friendship line. But I need to express myself and how I felt for her. I couldn't live without her. _I _ wanted her to marry _me_! Those were selfish dreams and wishes that could never be fullfiled.

"Lavi! Let me go!" Lenalee screamed as she shoved me off of her.

_**Even my dirty laundry**_

_**Everything just smells like you, like you**_

_**And now my head is throbbing**_

_**Every song is out of tune just like you**_

"Lena…" I whimpered.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, LAVI!" Lenalee yelled at me. She was just pissed as all hell. " WHY DID YOU JUST FREAKING KISS ME! I'M GETTING MARRIED FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

"Lenalee…I should have told you this a long time ago…I love you so damn much," I choked out. I buried my face in her dark black hair and cried like a child.

_**In the dark I can't fight it 'till it disappears**_

_**But in the daylight I taste you in my tears**_

"Lavi…I can't love you. I don't love you. I love Allen…" Lenalee said sadly. She buried her fingers in my hair and gently tugged on my red locks to have me stare back her beautiful amethyst orbs. My green eye met her jeweled eyes and she wiped my tears away.

"I know, Lena…just …"

"I don't love you, Lavi."

_**Now the party's over and everybody's gone**_

_**I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong**_

_**And now my heart is broken like the bottles on the floor**_

_**Does it really matter or am I just hungover you?**_

Lenalee's words dug their daggers into my open heart. The wounds couldn't close up this time. They healed themselves when Lenalee shared moments together alone, just enjoying each other's company. I couldn't have that company anymore with my muse. She was now Allen Walker's.

_**Now I've got myself looking like a mess**_

_**Standing alone, here at the end try to pretend**_

_**But no, I put up my fight, but this is it this time**_

'_**Cause I'm here at the end, tryin' to pretend**_

_**Here at the end, tryin' to pretend**_

"Fine, Lenalee. Have it your way. Get out of my sight," I said coldly. I didn't mean the harsh words I said to her. But once I said them, Lenalee choked out a :"Goodbye, Lavi. You just took too long to love me."

Once she left me in the study, I broke down into a fit of sobs.

_**Now the party's over and everybody's gone**_

_**I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong**_

_**And now my heart is broken like the bottles on the floor**_

_**Does it really matter or am I just hungover you?**_

A day before the wedding, I took my Exorcist's uniform, anti-akuma weapon, and bandana, and turned them in to Komui Lee and locked myself in my room.

'**Well Lavi. You really fucked up.**' My conscience said to me.

"Yeah I did. Time to end that," I said sadly. I took the noose in my hand and tied the rope to the unmoving ceiling fan and I slipped the noose over my neck. The fan control was in my hand and I turned the fan on. I was really going to kill myself.

" I love you so fucking much Lenalee Walker-Lee," I cried as I had my last breaths.

_**Now the party's over and everybody's gone**_

_**I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong**_

_**And now my heart is broken like the bottles on the floor**_

_**Does it really matter or am I just hungover you?**_


End file.
